My old friend certainly has a sharp tongue.

This ghost city was built against the mountains, standing on slightly elevated ground. Within its bounds lay the Yellow Springs, from which the River of Forgetfulness emerged, flowing beyond the city and eventually merging with the River of Three Crossings.

The two of them descended upon a cloud before the city gate and looked up to see the main gate tightly shut, with only a small side door left open. Beside this side door stood a desk with an oddly shaped laptop atop it, attended by over a dozen corporeal ghost guards. Most of them wielded magical weapons resembling pistols as they stood watch, while one sat behind the desk as a scribe. Next to him stood a ghost dressed in modern clothing, who was pointing out how to use the computer, assisting in the registration and inspection of the occasional ghost citizen entering or leaving.

Luo Yu was quite amazed. “Hell really keeps up with the times better than the cultivation world—they’re using computers for official business now!”

Qin Yue smiled. “Every day, they receive new ghosts, so of course the culture brought by these newcomers has an impact. It’s only natural they’re more advanced than the cultivation world.”

The ghost in modern attire caught sight of Qin Yue, his face lighting up with delight as he hurried over to greet them. “Mr. Qin, it’s been a long time! Here to purchase specialties again? Mr. Lampes isn’t with you this time?”

Qin Yue nodded. “I’ve brought my partner to tour the underworld.”

The ghost turned to Luo Yu, extending a hand with a friendly smile. “Hello! My name is Song Wei. I was a modern person in life. May I have your name?”

Luo Yu shook his hand, feeling a chill in his palm. “I’m Luo Yu—Luo as in ‘Luoyang,’ Yu as in ‘feather’… Do you work here?”

Song Wei nodded with a grin. “That’s right. Never thought I’d still have a job after death, working in the underworld.”

Luo Yu asked curiously, “Who rigged up that computer?”

Song Wei laughed. “It’s just an ordinary computer from the mortal world. They didn’t like how it looked, so they swapped out the casing.”

Luo Yu realized: ghosts who are corporeal can now interact with physical objects. He went on, “Is there electricity here?”

Song Wei replied, “They brought in generators a long time ago. Electricity is almost universal now.”

Luo Yu, brimming with anticipation, was eager to see what the city was like inside. Chatting, the group headed for the side door.

Qin Yue had visited several times before, so the person in charge already recognized this exalted immortal. Neither of them was given any trouble. The ghost official handling the records said, “If it weren’t for Immortal Qin leading you, Immortal Luo, you probably would have had to turn back this time. Things outside the city have been restless lately; the Great Emperor of Northern Darkness has ordered strict checks. Only citizens and trusted individuals are allowed in. Two demon immortals came by recently and were both turned away.” The two paid two pieces of netherstone each, received two plaques of nether jade, bade farewell to Song Wei, and entered the city.

Passing through the city’s barrier, they saw broad streets bustling with ghosts coming and going—street vendors hawking sweets, artists selling paintings on the spot, others setting up easels to sketch portraits of ghost citizens. The buildings lining the street were all ancient in style, mostly wood and stone, yet neon signs hung overhead, and even rotating lights like those at barbershops could be seen. The street sold everything imaginable—ancient and modern alike. The air was filled with noisy, cheerful voices—everyone was laughing, exuberant, and welcoming. It was nothing like a ghost city at all, but rather a flourishing utopia straight out of the Riverside Scene at Qingming Festival.

Luo Yu craned his neck, his eyes wide in wonder: That ghost doesn’t even look human—only one eye, and so tall! Aren’t those a bunch of Yakshas? Their heads have three pointy knobs like little mountains! Their fingernails are so long their hands nearly drag on the ground! Some look exactly alike—how does that artist manage to capture their features? Wait, is that thing floating in the air a lantern? It even has three paper tails trailing behind it, and heavens, it’s buying sweets? Is it a ghost too?

Unable to hold back his curiosity, Luo Yu whispered to Qin Yue, “Hey, that thing hopping about over there—isn’t that a coffin? How is that a ghost?”

Qin Yue replied, “Most of these strange things are burial goods from various dynasties. After being left in places saturated with extreme yin energy for a long time, they somehow developed sentience and became spirits of the underworld, under the jurisdiction of Hell. They all like to stay in the City of Wrongful Death, because it’s safe here. Outside, they’d likely be devoured by fierce ghosts.”

As the two strolled along, sightseeing, they reached a large square and found a giant screen erected in the central garden, currently showing a cartoon. Below the screen, a large group of bizarre objects and ghost children were clustered, each one gazing up with rapt attention—some with “heads” held high in fascination. Neither the light from the screen nor the streetlights was glaring, perhaps due to some special adjustment, and the ghost citizens seemed perfectly comfortable.

Compared to cultivation towns, this place had far more warmth and liveliness. Luo Yu exclaimed in admiration, “What a wonderful place! The Ghost Emperor of Fengdu must be a wise ruler… When the wardens catch new ghosts, do they bring them along this main street?”

Qin Yue laughed. “No. We entered from the east gate, straight into the City of Wrongful Death. But if someone is newly apprehended, they’re brought in through the south gate, directly to the ghost palace and hell. There’s no gate on the mountainside to the north, and the west gate leads to reincarnation—the River of Forgetfulness also flows out that way. You find this place pleasant because those living here have all been judged as good souls. The Ten Courts of Hell are nothing like this blissful scene.”

They sampled some netherworld cuisine along the way; though it contained yin energy, the taste wasn’t affected and everything was delicious—just a bit troublesome to expel the yin energy afterward, rather like spitting out watermelon seeds.

After wandering for half a day and picking up a few things, they inquired about the most renowned restaurant in town, “Tai Xian Restaurant,” hoping for a grand meal. Following directions from the ghost citizens, they found it, chose a window seat, and no sooner had they sat down than an enthusiastic waiter greeted them with a menu, beaming. “What may I get for you two today?”

Luo Yu wanted to see what others were eating before deciding. Suddenly, he heard a loud clattering sound behind him. Turning to look, he saw the table behind them piled high with mouthwatering dishes, but the surrounding seats were empty—only a chaotic collection of antique items were bouncing around on top of the table. Some lifted their own lids to stuff themselves, others extended spouts into the meat.

Luo Yu was instantly mortified. The waiter, noticing his expression, whispered with an apologetic smile, “The guests at that table are a bit noisy. Would you like to change seats?”

Luo Yu hurriedly declined, “No, no, this spot is fine.”

The waiter smiled again. “Those guests have waited at our door many times. They finally gathered enough netherstones to come for a taste—just a bit too eager, so please forgive the commotion.”

Luo Yu replied, “It’s fine! The clatter is actually quite pleasant to listen to!”

“Such generosity!” the waiter praised.

The two then ordered their food and began to savor the meal. Halfway through, they overheard a lively conversation and drinking at a nearby table. Both of them had sharp hearing and caught every word.

An old ghost was saying, “Alas, Brother Zhang’s group—over a hundred and thirty people—have not returned. We should suspend all business dealings with Mount Luofu for now, at least until the roads are safe again.”

Another ghost asked, “Who is this monster? Even His Majesty, the Emperor of the Five Directions, sent forth his elite, yet they returned empty-handed.”

The old ghost glanced around, then lowered his voice, “This mustn’t be spread around, so as not to cause panic. Word is, this monster is the one known a thousand years ago as the ‘Great Emperor of Illusive Ten Thousand Arts’—he caused chaos in the underworld back then and was gravely wounded and forced to flee by the Great Emperor of Northern Darkness. Now he’s returned in force—he must be after something significant.”

The other ghost scoffed, “I heard his magical power isn’t high—how dare he provoke the tiger again? Didn’t he suffer enough last time?”

The old ghost shook his head. “That’s what the Great Emperor of Northern Darkness said. If the fiend dares show himself, he must have a plan. Ah… great matters like these are out of our hands. Best to leave them as gossip over tea.”

The two ghosts chatted a bit more before drifting to other topics.

Luo Yu and Qin Yue didn’t give it much thought. After their meal, they found an inn to stay at and bought a map to plan their travels through the Netherworld.

The Netherworld was far larger than Luo Yu had expected—it existed beneath the earth, with some place names matching those of ancient sites on the surface, and even extended beneath the sea, covering a territory larger than all of China. It was governed jointly by five ghost emperors: the Eastern Ghost Emperor of Mount Taozhi, the Western Ghost Emperor of Mount Bozhong, the Southern Ghost Emperor of Mount Luofu, the Central Ghost Emperor of Mount Baodu, and the Great Northern Emperor of Mount Luofeng at Fengdu. Of these, the Great Northern Emperor held the highest authority, commanding the other four.

After poring over the map, Luo Yu wriggled into Qin Yue’s arms and, as they lay together, he grew restless once more.

After nearly being “blown up” last time, he had finally realized: he simply couldn’t handle Qin Yue. It was a matter of power and temperament.

So he changed his approach, trying to persuade Qin Yue to let him be the one held, and secretly started reading wicked comics and novels written by fujoshis. The more he read, the more he wondered—how come, compared to Qin Yue, he seemed to be the “bottom”? Surely he was just reading things the wrong way—that’s why he’d gotten that impression. He was the energetic, younger top; Qin Yue was the proud, beautiful bottom… Hadn’t he always been the one to initiate? If the other was so passive, he should just lie back and enjoy it—that was only logical!

He got up, rummaged through his ring for his phone, opened his reading app, and pretended to read for a while. Suddenly, he leaned over to Qin Yue with a mysterious air, shoved his phone in Qin Yue’s face, and pointed to a particular passage. “Look… this book is so wicked. The bottom really enjoys it—he only hurts for a bit and then it’s fine… All the books say it’s actually comfortable and effortless down there… It must be true, you know about the prostate, right? Massage that spot… Um, how about we give it a try? You don’t have to do anything, just lie there, I’ll handle everything, and I promise—absolutely no forcing you.”

Qin Yue listened to his honeyed words with perfect composure, then sneered, “You want to try?”

Luo Yu immediately nodded. “Trust me, I won’t hurt you, I swear.”

Qin Yue said mockingly, “Your fingers are too short.”

Luo Yu froze, spreading his five fingers to inspect them: slender and delicate… but overall, still too short—not long enough…

With a pitiful look, Luo Yu said, “Well… then maybe I’ll use… We could just do it the regular way—my little guy’s longer than my finger…”

Qin Yue snorted, “Still too small.”

Luo Yu was left speechless, tears brimming in his eyes: My wife despises me! No wonder he always refuses—it’s because of this!

Face flushed, Luo Yu protested indignantly, “Even if it’s not as big as yours, you can’t say… too small… I… Are you saying you’ll never do it with me again?!”

Author’s note: Poor Yu has had his pride wounded~

(Buddy Cultivation Chronicles 88_ Full free reading at 88 Buddy—the sharp-tongued buddy’s story is complete!)