Chapter 50: The First Exam

As the NPC teacher handed out the test papers, all the examinees began to answer the questions seriously—well, all except Yuri and her group. Even at this point, they still clung to the belief that taking the test seriously might cause them to disappear, so they merely scribbled their names and then passed the time with random doodles and scribbles on the sheets. Takeyama, who was supposed to switch the test papers, reluctantly wrote Kanade Tachibana's name on a paper as Yuri had suggested, even though he found the whole idea dubious.

After receiving his paper, Yoru glanced over the questions and found them simple—he’d be able to finish in no time. He sneaked a look at Shiina, wondering if this girl who’d never really studied could actually answer any of them. As expected, Yoru saw a look of distress cloud Shiina’s face, but she still earnestly put pen to paper.

The sound of a bell signaled the end of the test. The NPC teacher checked his watch and announced, “Time’s up! Everyone, stop writing. The person in the last row, please collect the papers from those in front!”

“What!” Takeyama, who was nervously waiting for Hinata to create an opportunity to switch papers, as well as Hinata, Yuri, and the others who were poised to draw attention, all shouted out in protest. This wasn’t how it usually went! Weren’t the papers always passed forward from the back of the room? They were at their wits’ end, unable to understand why the teacher wasn’t following the usual routine.

Trying to keep her patience, Yuri’s facial muscles twitched as she forced herself to speak politely, “Excuse me, teacher, but I think it would be better to pass the papers forward from the back, like we used to.”

“Oh, is that so? Then let’s pass them from the front to the back, and the last person can bring them to the podium,” the NPC teacher replied, cheerfully taking Yuri’s suggestion but completely reversing it.

“Are you kidding me! Would it kill you to just do as I said?” Having finally gotten her number only to have the whole plan ruined by a meddling NPC teacher, Yuri was on the verge of losing it. She slammed her hands down and flipped the desk in front of her, sending it crashing to the floor in front of the teacher. Seated in the first row, she didn’t have to worry about hitting anyone else.

Faced with Yuri’s meltdown, the NPC teacher finally gave in, spreading his hands in a show of helplessness. “Alright, alright, pass the papers forward from the back!”

“That’s more like it!” Relieved that things could proceed according to plan, Yuri begrudgingly dragged her desk back into place and sat down again. At the very back, Yoru watched the whole farce unfold and dutifully passed his test paper forward.

Once the papers had all successfully made it to the front, Takeyama received Kanade’s real test paper. Hinata sprang to his feet, eyes wide and face exaggerated as he pointed out the window and shouted, “What is that! Look, there’s a gigantic Ultraman dancing outside!”

The members of the SSS, including Otonashi and Yuri, covered their faces in embarrassment, wishing they didn’t know him. This prank was even lamer than telling someone their shoelaces were untied—no one was going to believe it, but it did earn him some silent scorn. It certainly didn’t attract much attention, and was far less effective than Yuri’s earlier outburst.

The class’s reaction was indifferent; no one paid Hinata any heed. Everyone silently judged him an idiot, while Yuri clicked her tongue in annoyance, grateful that she had taken precautions just in case. Unseen beneath a desk, she pressed the switch on a remote control in her hand.

Hinata, having failed to attract attention, slumped back into his seat, covering his face in shame at his own foolishness. Suddenly, he felt something odd—his chair seemed to be shifting beneath him. To everyone else, however, flames and smoke began pouring from the bottom of his chair. Hinata, still seated, shot up like a rocket, smashing into the ceiling. His body collided with the tiles, leaving a fractured dent as he crashed down, coughing up a mouthful of bitterness, eyes rolling back, uncertain whether he was dead or merely unconscious. The pain was excruciating, and he let out a heart-wrenching scream.

This time, everyone’s attention was well and truly captured, even Kanade, who placed her hands on the desk and looked over. Takeyama seized the opportunity to swap Kanade’s test paper, successfully completing their mission.

During the intermission, as Hinata glared at Yuri with a mixture of pain and resentment, Yuri paid him no mind, narrowing her eyes with a cheerful smile. “Haha, that was close—Hinata, you almost screwed up the whole operation! But I did say I’d help if you failed, didn’t I? Thanks to my support, even you managed to pull it off. How wonderful!”

“So that’s why you installed a jet engine under my seat—so I could ‘ascend to heaven’ and learn first-hand the difference between human flesh and ceiling tiles! I slammed straight into the ceiling and crashed back down!” Hinata, still wracked with pain and unable to control his flailing limbs, could only vent his frustration, his every gesture betraying his utter misery.

“I supported you—so be grateful!” Yuri’s single remark choked off Hinata’s anger, and then, beaming, she turned to Takeyama. “Mission accomplished, right, Takeyama?”

“Flawlessly.”

“Good. Next up is Takamatsu!” With Takeyama’s reply, Yuri looked happily over at Takamatsu.

“What do you need me to do?” Takamatsu, feeling a sense of foreboding, adjusted his glasses.

“You’re on distraction duty!” Yuri replied.

“Isn’t that Hinata’s job?” The thought of ending up like Hinata, in a painful embrace with the ceiling, made Takamatsu instinctively try to pass the buck.

“If the same person keeps causing trouble, people will get used to it and stop finding it interesting. That’s why we need to switch things up.” Yuri’s reasoning sounded plausible, at least to Takamatsu.

On the verge of collapse, Takamatsu cried, “So you assembled all these people just for this? I’d like to resign!”

Yuri smiled and shook her head. “Just do as you’re told.”

Resigned to his fate, Takamatsu sat motionless, like a puppet. Hinata, realizing that Takamatsu was next in line for disaster, patted him on the shoulder with a smile that was equal parts sympathy and schadenfreude. “Give up and fly! Then you can experience a thrilling collision with the ceiling!”

Staring into the darkness of his future, Takamatsu clawed at his hair, muttering, “I must come up with a way to really get everyone’s attention!”

“Takeyama’s so lucky—all he had to do was a bit of sleight of hand and nothing dangerous at all,” Hinata said enviously.

“What are you talking about! I was risking everything!” Takeyama protested, unwilling to admit he’d gotten the better deal.

“Then trade jobs with me!” Takamatsu grasped at the opportunity.

“No way!” Takeyama refused without hesitation.

“So you admit your job’s easier, don’t you?”