Chapter 70: What Is Wrong Cannot Remain
Do not punish yourself for the mistakes of others; do not punish others for your own mistakes.
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A faint smile blossomed at the corner of her lips, just as she imagined the little one in her belly slowly growing tiny hands and feet over the next nine months, sharing the breath of the world with her through the umbilical cord, echoing her heartbeat—how wondrous all of this would be!
“Excuse me, are you Miss Xue Zuinian?” The young nurse bent down and asked her politely. Seeing her nod in response, she continued, “Dr. Zhang requests you to visit her office. Please follow me.”
Leaving the hospital, the winter’s chill made her shiver involuntarily. She looked up at the gray sky; two intersecting white lines stretched across the vast horizon, likely the traces left by two airplanes that had just crossed paths—much like the doctor’s pronouncement echoing in her mind.
“...I’ve carefully examined the size and position of your gestational sac in the ultrasound. Considering your youth, that this is your first pregnancy, and the early stage, I recommend a medical abortion. It’s less harmful to your body and better for recovery...”
Beside her, two young girls excitedly raised their phones to take pictures of the sky, giggling, “Look, doesn’t it look like a giant X?”
Xue Zuinian felt her heartbeat pause. She looked up again, and indeed, it was a huge X, as if drawn with a white crayon on gray rice paper. Seeing it at this moment, a mocking smile spilled from her lips—mistakes, after all, cannot be tolerated in this world. They should never have existed, so how could they have a future?
Her sudden, derisive laugh made the two girls glance curiously at her, most of her face hidden behind a scarf. She seemed familiar, yet they couldn’t recall who she was.
While the girls whispered to each other, the subject of their curiosity had already left without a backward glance. Rows of streetlights illuminated the city before night had even fallen, igniting its fleeting splendor.
Xue Zuinian wandered aimlessly through the desolate winter streets. The plane trees had long since shed their leaves, leaving only bare branches trimmed into uniform shapes, making the already bleak winter feel even more monotonous.
She walked for a long time, growing weary, and finally found a seat in a crowded corner of a hot drinks shop. Her phone rang suddenly in her bag. Glancing at the name flashing on the screen, she gave a faint smile.
On the other side of the globe, just as Lu Huaining thought this call would once again go unanswered and be automatically disconnected, her low voice unexpectedly came through, “Is there something you need?”
Why shouldn’t he call if there’s nothing urgent? Her coldness made him frown slightly, “Why haven’t you come home yet?”
“Because Secretary Yang gave me the day off today,” Xue Zuinian tried to keep her voice steady. Seeing the part-time waiter mouth a question to her, she answered Lu Huaining’s inquiry while pulling a pencil from the pen holder and writing on a napkin: Please bring me a glass of warm water.
Lu Huaining recalled his conversation with Secretary Yang earlier that afternoon. The view before him seemed blurred by distraction. After a long pause, he spoke in a low voice, “You must hate me by now.” Such wanton humiliation—no woman could possibly ignore it.
“Do you really want to know the answer?” Xue Zuinian sneered inwardly. Or perhaps, he would soon have his answer.
“Would you really tell me?”
“Lu Huaining...” Xue Zuinian nodded her thanks to the girl who brought her water. Hearing his low response, the coldness in her eyes froze into ice. “Do you believe in the immortality of the soul?”
Her light, almost careless tone reminded him of eerie scenes from a movie. Lu Huaining couldn’t help but knit his brows—could she have been watching horror films because of insomnia? He guessed silently, but dared not provoke her further at such a moment. “Be good. If you’re afraid tonight, let Xiaoyu stay with you.”
“Afraid? Why should I be afraid?” If anyone should be fearful, it ought to be him! Xue Zuinian unwrapped the medicine, placed the pale yellow tablets on her tongue, and took a sip of water to swallow them. The pills caught in her throat, making her cough uncontrollably.
“What happened?” His voice sounded anxious, tinged with concern.
“Nothing, just choked a little.” She took another sip to swallow the stuck tablets.
“Is it uncomfortable?” His casual chuckle seemed to mock her clumsiness.
“It tastes bitter,” she replied. The medicine’s residue melted on her tongue, and that bitterness seemed to seep uncontrollably into her heart.
In that moment, her indifferent voice stirred a feeling in the man’s heart that he had never known, growing wild and unchecked. Lu Huaining’s palm holding the phone grew hot without him realizing it. “Xue Zuinian, be good and wait for me at home.”
“Alright.” She answered softly, yet he would never know that as the simple word slipped from her lips, a burning tear fell into her water glass, dissolving into its clear sorrow. “I’ll wait for you to come home.”