Chapter 11 Simple Happiness

To the world, you may only be one person; but to someone, you are the whole world.

Lu Huaining gave a faint smile and said, “Come here. I have something to tell you.”

The two of them looked at each other with such tenderness that it seemed the world had been reduced to only them.

Old Madam Lu did not wish to disturb them. She rose, walked out of the ward, and drew the door shut behind her.

Seeing the idle outsiders leave, Lu Huaining took the opportunity to pull her into his arms. He pressed a gentle kiss to her eyelids and said domineeringly, “No more crying. Your eyes are swollen like walnuts. If you keep crying until you go blind, let’s see how you’ll count money then. Little miser, I’ll be fine. Just give me a little time.”

She heard his teasing, yet could not bring herself to smile. Only bitterness filled her heart. He pinched her cheek and added, “But I don’t like a boss lady with swollen eyes. If you want to stay by my side and count money, then rest properly, smile more, and no crying. Understand?”

His body was being tormented, yet all he wanted was for her to be happy.

“Mm.” Xue Zuining suddenly opened her arms and wrapped them softly around his waist, burying her face in his broad chest. In a low voice, she said, “Huaining, I’ll be good to you from now on.”

“How good?” Lu Huaining ran his fingers through her hair and rested his forehead against the crown of her head, letting out a quiet laugh.

“Very, very good...” Xue Zuining silently made the promise in her heart. She would love this man well, and with it, the share of love her mother had never been able to give him.

Lu Huaining kissed her black hair. “I’m sleepy. Go tell Grandmother and ask her to get some proper rest. Her health was never all that good to begin with, and now she has worried herself sick over me. She can’t afford to exhaust herself. You should rest early too. If you stay and sleep beside me like you did last night, maybe I’ll recover faster.”

“Mm.” She kissed his brow and smiled softly.

He let go, watching as she stood, straightened her clothes, and left the ward for the outer room. The door was not locked. Her gentle voice drifted in faintly. He listened for a while, but in the end, he could not resist sleep and drifted into a deep slumber.

Lu Huaining’s condition was brought under control. He was no longer bleeding repeatedly as he had the day before, and Old Madam Lu’s taut nerves finally loosened. The strength she had been forcing herself to maintain vanished like smoke. At this moment, she was merely an exhausted elder. Hearing Xue Zuining relay Lu Huaining’s concern for her, she felt much better and lay down on the sofa in the outer room.

Xue Zuining asked a nurse to bring a blanket. Only after Old Madam Lu had settled to sleep did she return to Lu Huaining’s side. Old Madam Lu stared at her retreating figure, lost in thought and saying nothing.

That back, somehow, felt so familiar, as though it were Zhong Yilan from all those years ago.

Xue Zuining quickly washed up, returned to Lu Huaining’s side, and lay down. Carefully, she covered them both, then held his arm. Surrounded by the scent of him, she felt only warmth.

This man loved her; she knew it. And she did not wish to fail him.

She could not sleep. Her fingers lightly traced his cheek, then moved down along his neck until they stopped at his stomach. She did not dare place the full weight of her hand there, afraid of adding to his burden. Holding herself in that position made her arm ache, yet she still did not want to move it away. She had once suffered stomach pain too. It had not been severe, but it had been agonizing beyond measure. He had vomited so much blood. Just how much pain had he been in?

At that time, he must have been thinking of her, far away. Yet she had been unable to sense her lover’s suffering.

She did not know when she finally fell asleep. The next morning, the doctor came in before he had awakened. She hurriedly got up to let the doctor examine him, then went to wash her face and buy breakfast for herself and Old Madam Lu. The two of them ate quietly, then went in to see Lu Huaining. Seeing that his complexion had improved somewhat, both of their moods lifted a little as well. Old Madam Lu turned to glance at Xue Zuining and said, “Miss Xue, come out with me. We should have a proper talk.”

Some things could not be avoided. What had to be resolved had to be faced head-on.

At those words, Xue Zuining felt as though a thread had hoisted her heart into the air, where it swayed uneasily. She secretly clenched her fists and followed Old Madam Lu into the outer room, where they sat facing one another.

Time passed quietly, yet each of them understood without needing to say it.

A person as lofty as Old Madam Lu was naturally accustomed to holding everything to strict standards. Because she had been worried about Lu Huaining, she had not changed her clothes since arriving. Her sleep had left her wrinkled and her face looked poor. Xue Zuining feared that once Old Madam Lu calmed down, she would become displeased on every count.

But things had come to this point. It was no longer something individual effort could alter.

Xue Zuining could already sense Old Madam Lu’s first impression of her, even before they had ever met. People instinctively magnify the flaws of those they dislike. She tidied her hair with a helpless hand. Since things were already like this, she would simply meet each move as it came.

Unexpectedly, Old Madam Lu looked at her with a calmness that even held a hint of warmth. This made Xue Zuining somewhat surprised.

She steadied her breathing, kept a polite smile on her face, and quietly waited for the other woman to speak.

“Huaining told me everything yesterday. Much of it was completely beyond my expectations. First, I want to apologize for his shameful behavior, and on behalf of the Lu family, I want to apologize to you and to your mother as well. Though I know these apologies can never make up for the suffering you endured.”

Xue Zuining was a little startled, then replied, “This is not your fault. I feel very embarrassed that an elder should apologize like this to me, as a junior.”

“It seems Lanlan truly educated you well. She was always a generous person. I was the one who judged her wrongly.” Old Madam Lu sighed and said with remorse, “It was this old woman who failed in discipline. In the past, I truly neglected Huaining. The marriage was only outwardly harmonious, while inwardly it was already hollow. Worse still, I concealed the truth of Huaining’s birth mother. Because of that, his father was always cold to him, and the woman who was supposed to be his mother merely put on a show of affection. So we were very strict with the child, even harsh. We demanded too much of his studies and behavior. It is true that we gave him far too little of the care a child needed. That he became the cold and proud man he is today is our fault.”

Xue Zuining lowered her eyes, remembering how he had once mentioned, almost casually, that when he fell ill as a child, he had to take medicine himself; the servants only watched their master’s expression, and no one truly cared for him. Her heart could not help but ache.

“I do not wish to interfere too much in the two of you,” Old Madam Lu continued with a deep sigh, her gaze lingering on the door to the inner ward before returning to Xue Zuining. She looked at her deeply. “Miss Xue, our two families once had considerable ties. I made mistakes before. This time, I think I cannot keep making them.”

When a person grows old, the heart grows old too. No amount of struggle matters anymore. What she longed for was simply the joy of a house filled with children and grandchildren.

Xue Zuining widened her eyes at Old Madam Lu, her heart beating wildly. Faced with such generosity, she did not even know how to respond, how to explain that she had vanished without a trace for four whole years.

After a long silence, Old Madam Lu said, “I do not want to bring up the rights and wrongs of the past. I also believe you can understand how difficult it is for the Lu family to stand where we do. Anyone else aside, if we speak fairly, you are innocent too. Besides, Huaining owes you. Even if he has to spend his whole life repaying that debt, it is his responsibility. Since he cannot live without you, I will not make things difficult for you from now on. The reason I said so much today is only to tell you this: for the time being, the matter between you and Huaining still cannot be made public. After all, Huaining’s engagement to Wan Yi still exists. If it is announced now, it will hurt all three of you. Think it through carefully before deciding what to do.”

Xue Zuining pressed her lips together and said, “I understand.”

Old Madam Lu sipped her tea, trying to calm the turmoil in her own heart. After a while, she said again, “I heard that you are married.”

Xue Zuining was startled, but could only nod. Seeing a cold light emerge in Old Madam Lu’s gaze, her heart gave a sudden leap.

That shadow over her face lasted only an instant before she regained her composure and warmth. Looking at her, she said, “I believe you must have your own difficulties. I only ask that you do not hurt Huaining again.”

Xue Zuining thought about it, then replied, “I understand what you mean. I will deal with my own matters as soon as possible and will not bring you unnecessary trouble.”

Old Madam Lu inclined her head. “If you need help with anything, just ask. Huaining and I will naturally not stand by and do nothing. The Lu family may not be able to summon wind and rain, but we still have abilities you can trust.”

“Thank you, Madam.” Xue Zuining smiled in agreement, yet her heart had not shifted at all. For many things, this was enough.

Old Madam Lu’s expression softened a little more. “Miss Xue, if you are to walk on with Huaining, there are still many things you will need to face. Family is only one part of it. Huaining carries many responsibilities. To be his partner cannot mean being merely a woman who stays at home to husband and raise children. I am not asking you to possess the same command of the whole situation that he does, but you must be able to enter his circle. Formal social occasions are not like what is portrayed on television, where all there is to see is jewelry and gowns. Connections are built amid the clinking of glasses. Heads of state travel with their wives. I’m sure you’ve heard of the phrase ‘diplomatic wife,’ haven’t you?”

Thinking back to her own youth, Old Madam Lu reminded her gently, “Improve yourself, assist your husband. Though it may sound difficult, if you do not do this, the distance between you and him will only grow wider. Two people may fall in love on the strength of a moment’s passion, but to last, a relationship must be tended. Life with Huaining will never be the sort of romantic, dreamlike existence young girls imagine wealthy families to have. You should prepare yourself.”

“I understand. Thank you for the reminder, Madam.” If this had been four years ago, Xue Zuining might have feared that kind of life. But now, she could already face it calmly.

Old Madam Lu said, “For now, I will have to wrong you a little longer. Once Huaining has recovered, I will find a suitable opportunity to make your relationship public. I will be busy for a while, so I will have to rely on you to take care of Huaining. The two of you may live together as husband and wife and try to adjust to one another, to see whether you truly suit each other. I will keep an open mind for the time being, but I hope you can understand my concerns. As an elder, I only want my child to be happy, and to remain happy for a long time, without dramatic highs and lows.”

Xue Zuining knew this was already Old Madam Lu’s greatest concession. Every word she had said was reasonable and beyond dispute. After thinking it over carefully, she smiled. “Please rest assured. Since I have chosen to be with Huaining, I am naturally prepared to face whatever difficulties may come in the future. And I will work hard to improve myself, to stand beside him rather than hide behind him and rely on his protection forever.”

“It is enough that you think that way. You have had a hard time. If you need anything, call me directly. If that is inconvenient, you can call the housekeeper instead.” With that, Old Madam Lu handed over her contact information and went to look in on her sleeping grandson once more.

If all that had happened was a punishment for the right and wrong of the past, then perhaps letting go was the best way to atone.