Chapter 6: Despair and Enchantment

For the world, you may be only one person; but to someone, you are the whole world.

A faint smile touched his lips. “Come here. I need to talk to you.”

The two of them held each other in a tender gaze, as if the world had been reduced to nothing but the two of them.

Not wanting to intrude, his grandmother rose to her feet, went outside the room, and quietly closed the door.

Seeing that the others had left, he drew her into his arms. With a gentle kiss laid upon her eyelids, he spoke in a domineering tone, “No more crying. Your eyes are swollen like walnuts. If you cry yourself blind, how are you supposed to count money then? You little miser, I’ll be fine. Give me some time.”

She heard his teasing, yet could not smile. Her heart only ached. He pinched her cheek and said, “But I don’t like a boss lady with puffy eyes. If you want to stay by my side and count money, then rest properly, smile more, and don’t cry. Understand?”

His body was being tormented, yet he still hoped she could be happy.

“Mm.” Suddenly, Xue Zuinning spread her arms and gently wrapped them around his waist, burying her cheek against his broad chest. In a low voice, she said, “Huaining, I’ll be good to you from now on.”

“How good?” He ran his fingers through her hair, resting his brow against the crown of her head, and gave a soft laugh.

“Very, very good…” In her heart, Xue Zuinning quietly made her promise. She would love this man well, enough for the love her mother had never been able to give.

He pressed a kiss into her dark hair. “I’m sleepy. Go tell Grandmother to get some proper rest. She’s never been in good health to begin with, and she’s exhausted herself worrying about me. She mustn’t wear herself out. You should rest early too. If you sleep beside me like you did last night, maybe I’ll recover a little faster.”

“Mm.” She kissed his brow and smiled softly.

He let go, watching her stand up and straighten her clothes before leaving the room for the outer sitting area. The door was not locked, and he could faintly hear her gentle voice. He listened for a while, but in the end sleep overcame him, and he sank into a deep slumber.

With his condition now brought under control and no longer repeatedly bleeding as he had the day before, the old lady’s tightly wound nerves finally loosened a little. The strength she had forced herself to muster disappeared like mist, and what remained was only an exhausted elder. After hearing Xue Zuinning relay Huaining’s concern, she felt much better and lay down on the sofa in the outer room. Xue Zuinning asked a nurse to bring a quilt, and only after the old lady had fallen asleep did she walk back to Huaining’s side. The old lady watched her retreating figure in silence, deep in thought.

That back was so familiar, as though it were Zhong Yilan from years ago.

After washing up briefly, Xue Zuinning returned to Huaining’s side and lay down. She carefully covered them both, wrapped herself around his arm, and let his scent envelop her entire body. It felt warm.

This man loved her; she knew it, and she did not wish to betray that love.

She could not sleep. Her fingers lightly traced his cheek, then followed the line of his neck downward, stopping at his stomach. She did not dare rest the full weight of her hand there, fearful of putting any pressure on him. The rigid posture made her arm ache, yet she did not want to move her hand away. She had suffered stomach pain before, not severe, but unbearable all the same. He had coughed up so much blood—how much pain must he have been in?

At that time, he must have been thinking of her, far away across the miles, while she had been unable to sense even a trace of her lover’s pain.

She did not know when she fell asleep. Early the next morning, the doctor came in, and Huaining still had not woken. She hurriedly got up to let the doctor examine him, washed her face, and went out to buy breakfast for herself and the old lady. After they quietly finished eating, they went to see Huaining. Seeing that his complexion had improved, both of them felt much better.

The old lady turned to glance at Xue Zuinning and said, “Miss Xue, come outside with me. We should have a proper talk.”

Some things could not be avoided; if they had to be resolved, then they had to be faced head-on.

At her words, Xue Zuinning felt as though a thread had looped around her heart and hoisted it into the air, leaving it swaying there. She secretly clenched her fist and followed the old lady into the outer room of the ward, where she sat facing her.

Time slipped by quietly, and yet both of them understood each other without needing to speak.

The old lady had always been someone of lofty station, and of course she was used to exacting standards in everything. Right now, because she was worried about Huaining, she had not changed her clothes since arriving. They were wrinkled from sleep, and her complexion was not very good. Xue Zuinning feared that once the old lady calmed down, she would harbor all kinds of dissatisfaction in her heart.

But by now, nothing could be changed by individual effort.

Xue Zuinning already knew how the old lady had first perceived her. Even before they had ever met, she could understand that when people dislike someone or something, they unconsciously magnify every flaw. She casually smoothed her hair, helplessly accepting the situation. It had come to this; all she could do was respond to whatever came.

Still, the old lady’s gaze upon her was very calm, even carrying a trace of warmth. That surprised her.

Xue Zuinning steadied her breathing and maintained a proper smile, waiting quietly for the other woman to speak.

“Yesterday Huaining told me everything. Many things were truly beyond what I had expected. First, I want to apologize for his shameful behavior, and on behalf of the Lu family, I also want to apologize to you and your mother. Though I understand that no apology can make up for the suffering you endured.”

Xue Zuinning was somewhat taken aback, then replied, “This wasn’t your fault. It makes me feel quite embarrassed to have my elder apologize like this.”

“It seems Lanlan really did raise you very well. She has always been a broad-minded person; it was I who misjudged her.” The old lady sighed and said with regret, “This old woman failed in her discipline. It is true that I neglected Huaining in the past. Our so-called marriage was only a shell, with no real warmth, and on top of that I concealed the truth of his biological mother from him. Because of that, his father was always cold toward him, and the woman who was his mother in name only showed him warmth merely as a matter of appearances. So we were very strict with the child, even harsh. We demanded much of his studies and his conduct. It is true that we did not give him the care a child needed. The reason he became so cold and proud today lies with us.”

Xue Zuinning lowered her eyes, remembering how he had once mentioned to her in passing that when he was sick as a child, he had to take his own medicine, while the servants only watched the master’s mood and no one truly cared for him. Her heart tightened with a dull ache.

“I do not wish to interfere too much in the two of you. After all, as a grandmother, I still want my grandson to live well.” The old lady sighed deeply. Her gaze rested on the door to the inner room, then quickly returned to Xue Zuinning. “Miss Xue, our two families once had quite a connection. I made mistakes before, and this time, I think I cannot make the same mistake again.”

With age comes the weariness of the heart. There was no longer any meaning in fighting for more; what she desired was simply the joy of having children and grandchildren gathered around her.

Xue Zuinning stared wide-eyed at the old lady, her heart pounding. Faced with such generosity, she did not even know how to respond, how to explain her own four years of vanishing without a trace.

After a long silence, the old lady said, “I do not wish to speak of the rights and wrongs of the past anymore, and I believe you can understand how difficult it is for the Lu family to stand where we do. Anyone in your position would have had hardships as well. To be fair, you are innocent too. Besides, Huaining owes you. Even if he must spend a lifetime repaying that debt, it is his responsibility. Since he cannot leave you, I will not make things difficult for you in the future either. I am telling you all this today only to say that your matter with Huaining still cannot be made public. After all, Huaining’s engagement to Wanyi still exists. If it were announced now, it would hurt all three of you. We should think this through carefully before deciding on a plan.”

Xue Zuinning pressed her lips together and said, “I understand.”

The old lady took a sip of tea, trying to calm the turmoil in her heart. After a while, she said again, “I heard you’re married.”

Xue Zuinning’s heart jolted, but she could only nod. Seeing a cold glint enter the old lady’s eyes, her own heart skipped.

That shadow over her face lasted only an instant; very quickly she regained her composure and warmth, looking at her as she said, “I believe you must have your own reasons. I only ask that you do not hurt Huaining again.”

Xue Zuinning considered this, then replied, “I understand what you mean. I will handle my matters as quickly as possible and won’t cause you unnecessary trouble.”

The old lady nodded. “If you need anything, just say so. Huaining and I will not stand by and do nothing. The Lu family may not be able to command wind and rain, but we still have abilities you can trust.”

“Thank you, Madam.” Xue Zuinning smiled in agreement, yet it did not shake the resolve in her heart. For many things, this was enough.

The old lady’s expression softened somewhat. “Miss Xue, if you are to walk on with Huaining, there will still be many things you must face. Family circumstances are one part of it, and Huaining carries many responsibilities. As his partner, you naturally cannot be merely a woman who stays home to serve husband and raise children. I am not asking you to possess the same commanding ability he has, but you must integrate into his circle. Formal social settings are not, as television makes them seem, merely occasions to show off jewels and gowns. Connections are formed amid the clinking of glasses and the crossing of cups. Heads of state travel with their wives. You have heard the term ‘first lady diplomacy,’ haven’t you?”

Recalling her younger self, the old lady instructed her gently, “Improve yourself, support your husband. It may sound hard, but if you do not, the distance between you and him will only grow. Two people can fall in love through a moment’s passion, but to last, it depends on maintenance. A life with Huaining will never be the romantic, flowery kind of wealthy-elite life that little girls imagine. Be prepared.”

“I understand. Thank you for your reminder, Madam.” If this had been four years ago, Xue Zuinning might have feared that kind of life. But now, she could face it with calm.

The old lady said, “For now, bear with it a little longer. Once Huaining has recovered, I’ll find a suitable opportunity to announce your relationship. I’ll be busy for a while, so Huaining is in your care. You may live together as husband and wife in the normal way and get used to each other, to see whether you are truly suited. I will remain reserved on this for the time being, but please understand my concerns. As an elder, I only want the child to be happy, and happy for a long time, without sharp rises and falls.”

Xue Zuinning knew this was already a great concession from the old lady, and every word she had said was reasonable and beyond dispute. After careful thought, she smiled. “Please rest assured. Since I’ve decided to be with Huaining, I’m naturally prepared to face whatever difficulties may come in the future. And I will strive to improve myself, so that I can stand beside him rather than hide behind him and depend on his protection forever.”

“That is good to hear. It’s been hard on you. If you need anything, call me directly. If that’s inconvenient, you can call the housekeeper instead.” With that, the old lady handed her the contact information, then went to look in on her sleeping grandson for a while longer.

If everything now was punishment for the wrongs and rightings of the past, then perhaps letting go was the best way to atone.