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“Senior, I don’t blame you,” Xia Yuwei spoke softly, her delicate lips parting as she spoke. “How could I dare to blame you? I should be grateful to you instead.”
Though her words claimed otherwise, her tone was laced with unmistakable petulance.
Ye Lifeng noticed this rare, genuine display of emotion and, far from being upset, felt a flicker of delight. Seeing her like this—her true self, unguarded and expressive—was far more endearing than the distant politeness she typically showed him, always with a gentle smile. He liked witnessing her joy, her anger, her sorrow; her real feelings were what he cherished most.
“Yuwei, you say that, but anyone can tell you’re blaming me. I just want you to know, I only want to treat you well. Sometimes I may do things that make you unhappy, but if you’re ever displeased, please tell me. Don’t keep it bottled up inside.” Ye Lifeng’s tone was tender as he spoke. He truly loved Xia Yuwei, loved her with all his heart, and no matter how she treated him, he could never bear resentment.
Xia Yuwei remained silent. She almost wished he would get angry, that he would find fault with her and eventually give up on being so good to her. Tonight, she felt as if she’d been set up; her heart was heavy and stifled. She gazed out the window, saying nothing. Though others always saw her as gentle and composed, she too had her own temper—she was human, after all. How could she accept being manipulated without complaint?
Yet even that wasn’t the most pressing thing in her heart. What weighed on her more was that, despite her vows not to care, to forget, the one she wanted to forget always resurfaced in moments of helplessness and anxiety. She couldn’t chase away the memory of that familiar figure.
He was mischievous, a little roguish, persistently pestering her with nonsense that would rile her up, only to try to cheer her up when she got angry.
He had held her, kissed her, and even more…
He had said he wanted her. He had threatened her recklessly, insisting on making promises between them, leaving her both exasperated and amused. Why did he love making all sorts of promises so much?
Why was he always so stubborn, so persistent? Perhaps others would dislike that—she herself could get angry about it.
But then why, when she recalled him, did she sometimes find him… so endearing? Why, when she secretly thought about all he’d done for her, did she feel a hint of sweetness, a touch of bitterness, and even a bit of longing?
As for his date with Xin Xin, she’d allowed it—why? Deep down, she didn’t want him to go. So why hadn’t she stopped him?
Was it simply because she’d said they should never contact each other again? Was she really so noble, so self-sacrificing as to want to bring him and Xin Xin together?
Or could there be something more hidden in her heart? Was it uncertainty, a secret wish to see if he behaved that way only with her, if he only “desired” her and not anyone else?
Thinking this far, Xia Yuwei shivered involuntarily.
Beside her, Ye Lifeng noticed and reached out to adjust the car’s air conditioning. He couldn’t help but watch her every move, and her silence and estrangement made him uneasy.
Was her heart truly made of stone, unable to feel his care and affection at all?
Still, he wouldn’t voice any complaints—he only wanted to protect her, love her, and move her heart.
“Yuwei, do you feel warmer now?” After a while, Ye Lifeng asked.
“Yes, it’s fine now.” Xia Yuwei turned her head, eyes fixed forward, pulling her mind back from its wandering. Suddenly, she realized she might have been unfair to her senior and her tone softened. “Senior, you really are a good man.”
Ye Lifeng chuckled at her childish words. “Yuwei, am I just a good man, nothing more? Could I mean something more to you?” Facing this timid, reserved Xia Yuwei, he knew he had to be more proactive. If only she could take the initiative, even a little, he wouldn’t have to work so hard.
“Well… Senior, of all the men I know, you’re the one I feel most familiar with. When I’m in trouble, you’re the one I think of. Doesn’t that count for something important?” Xia Yuwei thought to herself, could anyone be more important than that?
Her words surprised and pleased Ye Lifeng. “So, I’m the most familiar, the most important man?” he asked casually.
Xia Yuwei thought of Lu Yichen, and fell silent. She wanted to say, “I don’t know,” but the words wouldn’t come.
“What about Lu Yichen?” Ye Lifeng broke the silence.
“What?” Xia Yuwei pretended not to understand. Her thoughts were in turmoil—why bring him up now? They were getting closer to her building, and she wanted to think of him less and less. Why did her senior have to mention him? “Can we not talk about him, please?”
Ye Lifeng gave her a meaningful look.
Was it that person who troubled her? Did he really have that much sway over her? He’d wanted to have a proper talk with her for so long, but her state never seemed suitable for a heart-to-heart. What was she so worried about now?
They arrived at Qinglian Residence. He parked the car and accompanied Xia Yuwei inside. Ever since the incident with Lu Yichen accosting her last time, Ye Lifeng had decided he would always walk her right to her door. Who could predict what might happen from the hallway to the elevator and inside the elevator itself? He couldn’t allow her to be in any danger at all.
He naturally took her hand, walking side by side. He wanted her to get used to his presence, to the feeling of holding his hand.
This time, Xia Yuwei didn’t pull away. Instead, she nervously tightened her grip on his hand. She made no objection to his accompanying her all the way to the hallway, almost as though she wished he would follow her even further.
They held hands all the way to her door. Only then, as if waking from a dream, Xia Yuwei used the pretext of getting her keys to slip free of his grasp. Without saying goodbye, she took out her keys, opened the door, and then paused, neither entering nor leaving, as if expecting something, or perhaps fearing it.
“Yuwei. Go on in,” Ye Lifeng said, breaking the silence.
“Senior…” Xia Yuwei suddenly looked up at him, her eyes full of helplessness. “Please come in with me. Just for a minute.” Otherwise, she was afraid she wouldn’t have the courage to face what was inside—or that she might see something she shouldn’t, something she didn’t want to see.
The two entered, one after the other.
Xia Yuwei turned on the living room light. Her gaze involuntarily drifted toward Xin Xin’s bedroom.